Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
