i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize