im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
