are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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