I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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