That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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