I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
