The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
