It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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