if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
