What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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