You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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