both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
