Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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