foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize