I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
