his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it glows. i had to have it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
