i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
