I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
