we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
