i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
