On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
your room smells of hookers.
And success
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
