is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
