His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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