would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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