Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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