yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
