and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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