There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
