So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
