Dual....:-)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
