I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
