what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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