Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
