Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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