To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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