id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
