the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
