Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
