3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
