Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
