I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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