it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
