if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
