Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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