if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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