Don't you send me to vm
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
