Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
