You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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