quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
