My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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