have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Are we still banned from the library?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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