Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize