I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
