my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
