Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
