he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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