I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
