Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
FUCK WHALES
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