p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just found a bag of teeth...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
