I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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