my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
