help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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