apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
