can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
