i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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