I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
