are you still at the devil's house?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
