Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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