I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
