did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize